The first cut is the deepest

For people who know me they know that I am naturally lazy. I wouldn't work if I didn't HAVE to (well at first I wouldn't), I get out of cleaning and cooking as much as I can and I HATE HATE HATE anything that resembles exercising.
The other day I was talking with my boss and she was talking about her husband and insurance and other stuff and I finally figured out part of my lack of motivation for weight loss. Last year around this time, I went through a big push to lose the 70+ lbs I gained since I met and married Hoss. Even kept a blog but I didn't see or feel any real results.
But I have figured out more of my reasons.
1: It doesn't matter! My hubby loves me no matter what size I am YAY for HOSS!

2: It doesn't matter! At 23 I was diagnosed with HBP, doc even told me if I lost all the weight I would still be on the meds. So why should I??

3: It's true, you can't do it without a buddy. And since I don't care for people and they most definately don't care for me - I gots no buddies. :( I kept the blog for someone I thought would be a buddy but there was a distinct lack of connection. Maybe it was time, maybe it was distance, maybe it was just a lack of buddiness. Who knows, who cares anymore - it didn't work.

4: No support. Again it's a double-edged sword, Hoss loves me no matter what which also means he doesn't push me and Mom pushes the wrong buttons.

5: Bribes didn't work so what's the motivation! The scale doesn't motivate me to lose it (and it was a scary number today!) I tried bribing myself but that didn't work. Maybe Hoss should do the bribing??? Whatcha think Hoss? $$ for sustained weightloss or books, well e-books since I have to go electronically because we have a dog that loves books more than I do :) (Dang Huckabay!!!)

6. I get depressed easily. No I know it's not a quick fix but something ALWAYS throughs me off and usually it depresses me and makes me not care even more about the problem. Usually it's a lack of dropage on the scales or more often in the feel of clothes or growth in top (because that soo needs to happen)

So that's my problem. After Hoss told me he could tell I had gained back the weight I had lost plus, I stepped on the scale today just to see. It was interesting. And I might start my journey over, maybe look for a local buddy if Hoss won't stay with it :)

Anyone want a buddy??????